Vulnerability can seem like a weakness in a culture that extolls strength and self-reliance. We have been trained to suppress even the slightest notion of honest, difficult conversations by wearing a mask coated with pride and confidence all from childhood.
However, what if being vulnerable is not quite as weak as we think?
What if this is the way to bond with ourselves and those in our lives, on a deeper level?
Understanding Vulnerability
The other part of the equation, vulnerability is a framework at times misunderstood by many. The point is not to over-share or appear weak, but it's the choice of openness- honesty — authentic. It is the courage to present yourself just as you are — warts and all, so that others can see YOU! Being vulnerable is accepting your fears and securities as well as sharing those thoughts, feelings you fear to share with others.
Brené Brown who is a famous vulnerability researcher says “vulnerability” means uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. That moment when you are honest in a challenging conversation, express your feelings honestly to someone who matters or admit that you do not have all the answers. These moments are frightening, but they're also where the magic happens.
Vulnerability in Relationships is POWER
Vulnerabilities are the breeding grounds for true human compassion and empathy. We invite others to be open and honest which leads them more likely to believe us so we can achieve trust, intimacy. Vulnerability is the cornerstone of good relationships and makes us feel whole, complete as it enables a meaningful connection with others.
Think of the moments when you have felt most united with another person. This will probably happen as shared moments of vulnerability — for example you told her about your deeper pains, or she opened up to you at some moment… or both confessed how terrified we are and showed their insecurities. That creates an unquantifiable relational bond that is deeper than a collection of status updates.
But allowing yourself to be vulnerable in relationships is also very hard. This involves being willing to face the fear of rejection and put yourself out there. And the risks—misunderstandings, disagreements, anger—are sometimes required to reach a point of honest love. By opening up and allowing yourself to be vulnerable you are showing another human that it is safe for them to do the same, and together you can create bonds of trust, authenticity, and compassion.
Why We Resist Vulnerability
We avoid vulnerability even though we know how good it can be. Because they are afraid of being judged, rejected or hurt — They put up walls to protect themselves. We fool ourselves into thinking that vulnerability is risky, will open us up to criticism — make others see us as weak and use it against us. Though very valid fears, in the end they just keep us from living life at a fuller level of intensity.
The most common pitfall in becoming vulnerable is the concern of what others might think. The last thing we want is for others to see who we really are and judge us. This is especially true in a culture where vulnerability can be interpreted as weakness. The truth is vulnerability is a strength. It is scary to be authentic, it takes vulnerability to say when you are not coping and request assistance.
The fear of rejection often creates walls that prevent vulnerability from entering our lives. We are afraid that they either will reject us and/or throw our wounds in our faces. This fear makes us lose all emotion and pushes people away. Yet in doing so, we prevent ourselves from ever experiencing anything authentic or meaningful.
How to Embrace Vulnerability
It is a lesson in vulnerability and it does not happen overnight. It is exposing yourself slowly to be your true self. So let me help you to get started!
Admitting Your Fears – The first big step to allowing yourself to be vulnerable is an act of recognizing and admitting your fears. What are you afraid of? Judgement, rejection or something else? By identifying what you are afraid of, it can help to overcome your own limitations and move past them.
Take Baby Steps: No need to jump in the deep end off the block. So start small — tell a personal story, speak up with your opinion in conversation or voice an emotion that is really yours and not just social etiquette! Once you are comfortable, continue on and explore more.
Be gentle with self while being vulnerable. Allow yourself to be imperfect, and remember that your vulnerability does not make you weak. Practice being as loving and forgiving to yourself with what you are feeling, as you would be for your friend.
Practice receiving: Surround yourself with people who honor how raw you are. The experience of vulnerability is much more tolerable when there are people around who give us feedback, either a friend to talk things through or be emotional with, boyfriend/girlfriend/relationship partner to help us work it out within the relationship itself (in other words – solve conflict), or even better — community and counselor/coach in our tribe.
Embrace imperfection – Vulnerability helps us to accept that we are human and by definition not perfect. Consider your flaws part of who you are and let them shine — they will allow others to relate with you anyways.
Being Vulnerable takes Risks — Invulnerability is the complete opposite and vulnerability involves taking risks such as sharing your emotions, trying out something new or admitting that you are wrong. These risks can be terrifying, but they are also chances to become a better you and bond with someone else.
Vulnerability Is A Game Changer For Life
The power of vulnerability in your life. When you give yourself permission to be true, real and transparent in every magic aspect of who you are as a woman You create the space for deeper connections with others…you invite personal growth…and your life feels more meaningful. Being vulnerable is what allows you to relate with someone on a meaningful level, to grow from your experiences and live in alignment as the person who lives inside of yourself.
But in relationships, vulnerability equals trust and intimacy. Helps create relationships with respect and understanding. The second is that, by being vulnerable — you tell others indirectly that it's ok to be real with them and they may feel like opening up as well.
On the path of personal development, vulnerability is what allows you to confront your fears and move through them. This pushes you to the boundaries of your comfort zone and challenges it, thereby requiring one outgrow one's inhibitions for growth. This makes you that much more present to yourself, and reveals to both your strengths as well as vulnerabilities.
And last but not least, vulnerability brings you happiness with freedom to live your true self. But in order to commit yourself completely, you need to get out of the mask standing between you and reality. That you can feel love, joy and connection in a way that seems so human-like and live your life true to who you are.
The Magic of Vulnerability - Change your Life
It is a hard journey but embracing our vulnerability also has the potential to provide us with incredible rewards. You make it possible for deeper connections and greater personal growth to find their way into your life by being open, real, authentic about who you are.
If you are willing to explore how being more vulnerable will transform your life, hire a coach that helps you on this journey. As seen it turn, We coach busy female professionals to embrace vulnerability, face challenges, and live on purpose. We take a personal approach that tailors to exactly what you need, by your side throughout the entire process Schedule a Consultation
Better yet jump on the phone with me and your journey to greater connection, integrity & fulfillment can begin now.
Be vulnerable and watch how it changes your relationships, but most importantly…YOUR LIFE!!!
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